Ummmmm, I am so confused - again... This setting on my blog, I want to change it, and since the last time I changed it, it is has become completely foreign to me, so I guess I have to leave it this way because I have no clue whatsoever in how to make it different, extremely aggravating!

Anyway - it has been a little while since I wrote here last. School started up again, and the kids were excited.     I think they both have gotten wonderful teacher's again this year, which makes a world of difference in how they view school. The Saturday after school started (they had only been going two days) we decided to go to Lagoon. This is something that Derick and Zane were supposed to do just the two of them sometime during the summer, because McCall went with his friends right as school was out for the summer, and Zane wanted to go, but I didn't cause I really don't like those rides, so Derick was nice enough and said that he would take him. Well, we all ended up going, and I am SO glad - we had a blast! We went on ride after ride after ride after ride, went swimming, went on more rides and so on. I have to say there were a couple of rides I would not go on, but Derick and the kids went, except for one ride that Zane wasn't tall enough for, that time he kept me company:) It was a perfect way to celebrate the end of summer/back to school, and I'm thinking this should be a yearly thing for the Davis family;-) 

We had Swiss Days here last weekend, and as always I did one shift in the scone booth during the day on Friday, and Derick did an evening shift with McCall. McCall loves doing that and so do a ton of other kids. I went perusing with my sister, niece Amanda and Zane. The only thing we bought were a calendar each to give my mom and little brother. It is a Greg Oleson calendar with beautiful pictures of Christ - he is one talented artist. We also bought some cute earrings, and other than toasted or roasted or smoked almonds(I can't remember which...) and caramel apples we didn't buy anything else. 

Tuesday was Derick's birthday, and we celebrated a little with just our family. Today though is when 'everyone' is coming over to help celebrate this wonderful man, and instead of sitting here writing about it, I really need to get going and do things here at home and also go shopping, so see ya later!

Last week was our yearly Bear Lake trip. We wanted to leave last Wednesday when Derick got off work, cause he was planning on leaving early. That didn't work out the way we had planned though... He ended up not coming home until 8 that night, which he wasn't thrilled over. He had a major headache cause he didn't eat lunch thinking he would be out of there soon. I had talked to the kids about waiting to leave really early the next day, since it was late before Derick would come home, and the drive is about 2 1/2 hours. They agreed, which I have to say was definitely fine by me since that meant I got to sleep another night in my own bed:) We all got up early the next day and we were on our way by 7:30. It was so much fun to be at the beach, all relaxed and nothing to worry about except when to lather on some more sunscreen. Our first night there was awesome. Seeing everyone again and talking around the fire, there is just something about that. The next day was also spent at the beach, more fun, sun, sand, swimming, snacking, talking, laughing, enjoying. That night was not that great - it rained! Camping is no fun with rain. Everyone huddling up in their own tents, trailers or cars. Luckily it was only the one night, so our last night there we roasted hot dogs and had smores around the camp fire, along with roasting apples. I had never heard of or seen such a thing before, but Derick's cousin Sandy, had heard about it from a co worker, so she brought all the ingredients. You just buy small green apples, put them on a roasting stick and roast them until the skin gets lose, peel off the skin and roll them in a cinnamon/sugar mix, roast them some more and then eat. It tasted really good, but I think the kids preferred roasting marshmallows;) Camping sure is a lot of work, but the memories are so worth it!

My mom wanted me to buy flowers for Jake's grave from her, so we went in on it with her, and here they are. Love you Jake!

Jake

Tomorrow it's been 2 years since Jake passed away. It has been 2 long years without his loving smile, cute little lisp and bubbly personality. We will always and forever love you, and we miss you tons! I posted some pictures of him and his brothers.

Jake

Today I am feeling a little sentimental, old, prudish - I really don't know what to call it. Actually, I am in awe of this amazingly wonderful world we live in. I keep reading these little historical romance novels, and how people used to make everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING. There was no microwave, stores to buy instant clothes, food, even entertainment - you had to do it all yourself. Along with that is the way people viewed relationships between the sexes, the way people dressed and behaved, also how it was just sailors and pirates that had tattoos. It makes me sad to see how much the world has changed in this way. Oh don't get me wrong; I am thrilled that women can vote and own land and businesses etc, and that we don't have to wear long skirts and such, but I am sad that people have gotten desensitized to evil. Whether you believe it or not, I am certain that this world has gotten worse over the last few years because we 'have to accept' everyone. If someone wants to just live together instead of getting married, the world says yeah, go ahead. If someone wants to get a tattoo, the world says yeah, why not, it's art and it's beautiful. Having a baby without being married, or being a single parent because you can't 'find' someone to have a baby with? Go ahead. You are attracted to the same sex? Have at it. No mentioning God anywhere because it might offend someone? Let's drop God then. ALL of this is making us desensitized, and quite frankly it scares the living daylights out of me. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that this is the norm, and that what is being taught at home is unusual, old fashioned or whatever you might call it. Marriage really IS ordained of God between a man and a woman, your body IS a temple so don't spoil it with tattoos and piercings, drugs and alcohol ARE harmful to your body, and just because people don't believe in God, doesn't mean that that is true. There really and truly is a real God, He lives and loves us and want us to return to Him again someday. People might say this world would not have cancer, wars, terrible people in them that harm others if there truly was a God, and so on. Well, they don't understand the word AGENCY then. How could a loving, unchanging God have sent us here to earth to live and be tried if He had to interfere with everything? He couldn't. Yes, there most certainly are a whole bunch of bad and horrible people in this world, making bad and horrible choices. I know first hand what it is like to have a dad that made terrible choices that affected his family. BUT! That doesn't mean that I have to make bad and horrible choices too. YOU have to figure out a way to get a close relationship with your Father in Heaven. Turning away from Him because things aren't going right doesn't hurt anyone except for yourself. He is ALWAYS there waiting for you to come to Him. I have decided that the older I get the less I care about what people think of me. I know what I believe and in whom I trust. If my kids can learn that too, then I will consider myself extremely blessed. I know that bad things happen all the time. Losing Jake could have been far worse than it was. We miss him and wish he was here still with us every single day. But we also know with certainty that there was a reason he was taken from us so soon. That does not mean that we blame God or become bitter. It means that there is more that goes on between heaven and earth than what we know, and we trust in our God. Like I said in the beginning, I truly am in awe of this amazingly world we live in. We have indoor plumbing, air conditioned houses, furnaces, fridges, freezers, gas or electric stoves and ovens, washers, dryers, dishwashers, cars, cell phones, computers, exceptional intelligence, and on and on and on. What we desperately need more of is trust in the Lord. Turning towards God again and acknowledge Him in everything we do. Nothing on this earth happened by chance. God knew exactly what He was doing and He still does. Teaching our kids to build their own personal relationship with our Heavenly Father has got to be the thing we strive for in this world, and then if they can do that, I have no doubt that they will come to know of all the good and beauty this world has to offer. Am I old fashioned in my way of thinking? Maybe. But I do believe that this is for the best for my kids and essentially for the world - to return our thanks to the God that created us and this wonderful planet we are so fortunate to live on.

I am sitting here by myself. The kids are in McCall's room with a couple of friends playing a board game called The Game of Life. Derick went for a run. For a few seconds I contemplated going with him, but decided that I haven't gone completely crazy yet, so I stayed home. I wish he had left 15-20 minutes earlier, cause it isn't light anymore after 9pm. Hopefully he'll be OK. On Tuesday I went to the outlet mall in Park City with my sister, niece and Zane. While we were in Old Navy I saw a woman walking in to the store with her kids. I realized that even though I haven't seen her in 7 years, I knew her! It was a friend from our time in Holladay. Her name is Erin and she and her husband have 4 kids now. I didn't want to say goodbye when we did. I know it was boring for my sister, but we just kept on talking and talking. There is obviously A LOT that happens in peoples lives over 7 years, and seeing her and her kids was so much fun! Like I have said before, I wish I could just take everyone that I know and have known over the course of my life, and bring them to an island and catch up and have fun, fun, fun... Erin is such a fun, smart and awesome woman. She is someone that you are so happy to be friends with because she has a way of bringing out the good in people. Not everyone can do that, but she can. It might seem weird of me to say this since we haven't been around each other for years, but if you knew her, you would know exactly what I was talking about. Miss you Erin! Different people have come up to me to tell me that they are thinking of me and my family because of the month. Yes, I will admit that the month of July sucks! I had such a hard time sleeping one night because I kept thinking things like: 2 years ago Jake was still here and we went to the park a lot, he had nice long naps, I would have to chase him outside when he would sneak out, he gave me hugs and kisses, when I would say come here Jake he would reply just a second!, and different things like that. And then I would think about that last day with him and how it felt like all hell broke lose when I found him in the water. It was so unreal that this had happened to us, something that happened to other people, not us. But I know that everything happens for a reason, and even though the pain of losing someone is devastating and something you think you will never be able to get over, you kinda do. I am not saying that I am 'over' losing Jake, cause I am not, and doubt I ever will. But it does get easier. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan in store for all of His children, I can't see and know what He does, but I do trust in Him, and I put my WHOLE trust in Him. On the 4th of July, Derick the kids and I were sitting outside on our porch watching the fireworks going up from Memorial Hill. McCall sat close to me, Zane was on my lap, and there was a little space between myself and Derick, where I imagined Jake sitting watching with us. It wasn't something we did on purpose, it just happened that way, and it really comforted me to think that he was there enjoying with us. I think about him everyday, and wonder what he would look like and things he would enjoy doing. I know that someday all my questions will be answered and we will be with Jake again, it is just so dang hard being human and wait until then... In the meantime we will enjoy spending time with each other as a family. I am so grateful for my husband and each of my kids.