Today I am feeling a little sentimental, old, prudish - I really don't know what to call it. Actually, I am in awe of this amazingly wonderful world we live in. I keep reading these little historical romance novels, and how people used to make everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING. There was no microwave, stores to buy instant clothes, food, even entertainment - you had to do it all yourself. Along with that is the way people viewed relationships between the sexes, the way people dressed and behaved, also how it was just sailors and pirates that had tattoos. It makes me sad to see how much the world has changed in this way. Oh don't get me wrong; I am thrilled that women can vote and own land and businesses etc, and that we don't have to wear long skirts and such, but I am sad that people have gotten desensitized to evil. Whether you believe it or not, I am certain that this world has gotten worse over the last few years because we 'have to accept' everyone. If someone wants to just live together instead of getting married, the world says yeah, go ahead. If someone wants to get a tattoo, the world says yeah, why not, it's art and it's beautiful. Having a baby without being married, or being a single parent because you can't 'find' someone to have a baby with? Go ahead. You are attracted to the same sex? Have at it. No mentioning God anywhere because it might offend someone? Let's drop God then. ALL of this is making us desensitized, and quite frankly it scares the living daylights out of me. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that this is the norm, and that what is being taught at home is unusual, old fashioned or whatever you might call it. Marriage really IS ordained of God between a man and a woman, your body IS a temple so don't spoil it with tattoos and piercings, drugs and alcohol ARE harmful to your body, and just because people don't believe in God, doesn't mean that that is true. There really and truly is a real God, He lives and loves us and want us to return to Him again someday. People might say this world would not have cancer, wars, terrible people in them that harm others if there truly was a God, and so on. Well, they don't understand the word AGENCY then. How could a loving, unchanging God have sent us here to earth to live and be tried if He had to interfere with everything? He couldn't. Yes, there most certainly are a whole bunch of bad and horrible people in this world, making bad and horrible choices. I know first hand what it is like to have a dad that made terrible choices that affected his family. BUT! That doesn't mean that I have to make bad and horrible choices too. YOU have to figure out a way to get a close relationship with your Father in Heaven. Turning away from Him because things aren't going right doesn't hurt anyone except for yourself. He is ALWAYS there waiting for you to come to Him. I have decided that the older I get the less I care about what people think of me. I know what I believe and in whom I trust. If my kids can learn that too, then I will consider myself extremely blessed. I know that bad things happen all the time. Losing Jake could have been far worse than it was. We miss him and wish he was here still with us every single day. But we also know with certainty that there was a reason he was taken from us so soon. That does not mean that we blame God or become bitter. It means that there is more that goes on between heaven and earth than what we know, and we trust in our God. Like I said in the beginning, I truly am in awe of this amazingly world we live in. We have indoor plumbing, air conditioned houses, furnaces, fridges, freezers, gas or electric stoves and ovens, washers, dryers, dishwashers, cars, cell phones, computers, exceptional intelligence, and on and on and on. What we desperately need more of is trust in the Lord. Turning towards God again and acknowledge Him in everything we do. Nothing on this earth happened by chance. God knew exactly what He was doing and He still does. Teaching our kids to build their own personal relationship with our Heavenly Father has got to be the thing we strive for in this world, and then if they can do that, I have no doubt that they will come to know of all the good and beauty this world has to offer. Am I old fashioned in my way of thinking? Maybe. But I do believe that this is for the best for my kids and essentially for the world - to return our thanks to the God that created us and this wonderful planet we are so fortunate to live on.

I am sitting here by myself. The kids are in McCall's room with a couple of friends playing a board game called The Game of Life. Derick went for a run. For a few seconds I contemplated going with him, but decided that I haven't gone completely crazy yet, so I stayed home. I wish he had left 15-20 minutes earlier, cause it isn't light anymore after 9pm. Hopefully he'll be OK. On Tuesday I went to the outlet mall in Park City with my sister, niece and Zane. While we were in Old Navy I saw a woman walking in to the store with her kids. I realized that even though I haven't seen her in 7 years, I knew her! It was a friend from our time in Holladay. Her name is Erin and she and her husband have 4 kids now. I didn't want to say goodbye when we did. I know it was boring for my sister, but we just kept on talking and talking. There is obviously A LOT that happens in peoples lives over 7 years, and seeing her and her kids was so much fun! Like I have said before, I wish I could just take everyone that I know and have known over the course of my life, and bring them to an island and catch up and have fun, fun, fun... Erin is such a fun, smart and awesome woman. She is someone that you are so happy to be friends with because she has a way of bringing out the good in people. Not everyone can do that, but she can. It might seem weird of me to say this since we haven't been around each other for years, but if you knew her, you would know exactly what I was talking about. Miss you Erin! Different people have come up to me to tell me that they are thinking of me and my family because of the month. Yes, I will admit that the month of July sucks! I had such a hard time sleeping one night because I kept thinking things like: 2 years ago Jake was still here and we went to the park a lot, he had nice long naps, I would have to chase him outside when he would sneak out, he gave me hugs and kisses, when I would say come here Jake he would reply just a second!, and different things like that. And then I would think about that last day with him and how it felt like all hell broke lose when I found him in the water. It was so unreal that this had happened to us, something that happened to other people, not us. But I know that everything happens for a reason, and even though the pain of losing someone is devastating and something you think you will never be able to get over, you kinda do. I am not saying that I am 'over' losing Jake, cause I am not, and doubt I ever will. But it does get easier. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan in store for all of His children, I can't see and know what He does, but I do trust in Him, and I put my WHOLE trust in Him. On the 4th of July, Derick the kids and I were sitting outside on our porch watching the fireworks going up from Memorial Hill. McCall sat close to me, Zane was on my lap, and there was a little space between myself and Derick, where I imagined Jake sitting watching with us. It wasn't something we did on purpose, it just happened that way, and it really comforted me to think that he was there enjoying with us. I think about him everyday, and wonder what he would look like and things he would enjoy doing. I know that someday all my questions will be answered and we will be with Jake again, it is just so dang hard being human and wait until then... In the meantime we will enjoy spending time with each other as a family. I am so grateful for my husband and each of my kids.

Honestly, just when I think I have figured out how to post pictures here in the right order, I get confused and they are not in the order I wanted them in! Well, at least I got to post some:) It's from Zane's birthday, McCall and Zane in their Sunday best and McCall and his friends enjoying the summer with an ice cream cone.

Summer fun and Birthday Party

Derick and I just finished watching a movie called "Man on the ledge". We had never heard of it, but the plot seemed OK, so I rented it. Movies that are suspenseful so that I have to get up and walk around are the ones I love, and this was one of them. So, if you want to watch a good movie then rent this one, I liked it:) I love, love, love taking naps on a lazy Sunday afternoon. What I don't love is being awake late at night because I took that lovely nap, which is why I am on here right now writing... We went to church today, like we do every Sunday;0 and as I was walking past a classroom, my friend and also my boss asked me to come in his class for a minute and say something in Norwegian. I thought that was a little strange, until he told me that one of the kids there was visiting from Norway. Turns out his mom, grandparents and aunts and uncles from Norway were here visiting, and just so happened to come to our ward today! Some of them go to the same ward that my brother Michael and his family go to. Their last name is Svanevik. I guess one of the daughters were getting married so they all came for that. The world is not so big anymore;) On another note ---> it is my birthday tomorrow. In Norway it already is, but here it won't be for another 37 minutes. I have to say that I am loving the place I am at in my life right now. My life is far from perfect, but I don't know if I would like perfection, at least not yet. I kind of like how there is chaos at times and things that frustrate me. Weird I know. Honestly though, looking back at the first few years that we were married, trying to figure out what we were doing with our lives, I sometimes miss that. I miss the friends we made and have been separated from because of 'growing up' and buying a house, or because a job took us in a different direction. I treasure all the people that have been in my life and that still are. I wish I could have that private island of mine and dump all of us on there and we could hang out forever and ever. But that is not likely to ever happen, so I will just have to be OK with pulling you out of my memory from time to time and think of you and how I truly love and miss you all and appreciate what you have brought to my life. I am so blessed to have such a great family and friends that love me and care for me. Thank you!

My mom is moving! She has been thinking about this and looking for another place since my dad died, and last week she made an offer on a condo that was accepted and she is doing it:) It's a little weird to think she won't live where we moved to when I was 9(holy cow I am old!) but it doesn't bother me like you see in the movies where the kids flip out over every little change their parents make, thank goodness! I have my own life and she has hers, and whatever makes her happy I think she should go for. My mom has had to work her whole life, and it makes me happy to see her do things for herself for once, without having to consider other people - YOU GO MAMMA! Glad i deg!:) It will be weird that she is in Halden instead of Oslo. Good thing the public transit system works great there so that when we visit it won't be bad getting around at all:) I am so excited for her and wish I could be there to help her move. I am glad that I have 2 handsome and strong brothers that can give her a hand, so it kind of makes it better;-} Well, that elliptical of mine won't do me any good unless I use it, so I guess I better go work out... I love it when that part of my morning is over, I feel so great!

McCall went to Lagoon today with a bunch of friends from the neighborhood. They wanted to go last Monday since there was no school because of Memorial Day, but they found out that they closed at 7pm, so they decided to wait until today when they would be open until 11pm. Now I wish they had gone on Monday, cause they are not home yet and it is almost 12:30am. One of the mom's was driving them down and picking them up, which was really nice of her I think. They left at 9:30 this morning so it has been a long day for all of them. I hope McCall is able to sleep inn tomorrow. He went to bed pretty late last night too, and he woke up before 7am. What can I say? Our kids have never ever slept later than 8:30am, unfortunately. The bad thing about this is that I can't go to bed when he isn't home yet, and I really want to. It's weird how when I was younger I could stay up forever, and now I can barely make it to 10:30. Zane was sad he couldn't go with him, but I think he had an OK day at home. He played with cars, watched a little TV, jumped on the tramp with his dad with the sprinklers going underneath, played with a couple of friends down the street, got to go to Subway for dinner, yeah I think his day was a good one. And best of all, he went to bed at a normal hour:) I think I better be done for now cause my brain feels like mush and I am afraid I will make less sense than I normally do;0 Sure hope he gets home soon... Good night!