I was thinking that I should probably try and post some more pics on here, but haven't felt like blogging very much. Don't think I have something to say really, but I know that my mom wants me to write new stuff daily;-) Maybe I'll do pics today, maybe not... This week has kind of gone by fast, and it's weird that it's Thursday already.

Zane has gotten to be afraid of being alone, have I already mentioned that? I can't remember. Anyways, he is my little shadow because he notices if we're not in the same room. I feel bad for the kid, cause I don't think he knows how to verbalize his fears. He tells me all day long that he loves me, which is so sweet. I remember when Mette's son, Nik was little that he would say that to her a lot too, so maybe it's an age thing or a little boy thing? Either way, I am so glad that I have that kind of a relationship with my kids that we can say that to each other, cause I'm sure there are plenty of kids out in this world that have no clue if their parents love them or not. How sad is that?

Going on living my life without Jake is HARD! I cleaned out his closet the other day, and that was not fun. I kept thinking who do I know that has a boy around the same age as him that I could give these clothes to? And then I thought can I really let somebody I know and will most likely see, have his clothes on? Most of them I put in a DI pile but a few things I decided I wanted to give to people I know. Obviously we'll save some stuff, but we're not hoarders(thank goodness) so most of it we'll need to get rid of. We gave his crib to Derick's brother Bryce and his wife, Maria, cause I'm sure their going to want to have kids in the future.

Don't know the next time I'll feel like posting anything on here, so I thought I'd just say that I find it almost unbelievable that in 2 days, Jake has been gone for 2 months. The 3rd and 18th of each month makes me sad. I wonder if it will always be like that. I know that the 'only time' each year that is hard because of my sister dying is the day she died (October 26th) and her birthday(January 15th). But because she is a twin and shares her birthday with our brother Michael, it's not just sadness I feel on that day. I wonder if I'll be like that about Jake's birthday, cause he was born on my nephew Nik's birthday. Why does life have to be so COMPLICATED! There are days I just want to put everyone I love in a bubble and keep them with me all the time. I know I can't do that though, which is why I pray a zillion times a day. I trust in the Lord with all my heart. I know that he knows the big picture even if I don't, and one day I will know the reason for why things happen the way they do.

It's amazing to look at the mountains these days. They are absolutely stunning! Such beauty and color, it's a shame it only lasts for a short while. I love to look out my window and just stare, or go outside and stare. Maybe I'll try and take a picture with my super duper camera:-) I need a crash course in how to operate all the buttons.

It makes me happy when I push the spell check button to see that the only things it wants me to correct are the spelling of names! Misspelling is a pet peeve of mine and I love when I remember to use the spell check button:)