I keep thinking that it can't be right that Jake is gone... I was cleaning the kitchen sink today, and I kept wondering if I would be able to finish cleaning it before Jake came to interrupt because he wanted something from me. Whenever I'd be doing some house work, he'd always want my attention. Derick was outside doing yard work today, and he told me that he kept looking up to see where Jake had wandered off too. We know it's going to be like that for a long time still. Around 4pm each day I keep thinking that he'll almost be ready to wake up from his nap. This is SO hard!!!

I keep praying for Heavenly Father to help me, to help us. I really feel that He is. I read something that Joseph Smith had said at a funeral for a 2 year old girl, and that made me cry, it was so beautiful. Here it is:

At the funeral of two-year-old Marian Lyon, the Prophet said: “We have again the warning voice sounded in our midst, which shows the uncertainty of human life; and in my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it … grows more wicked and corrupt. … The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again. …

“… The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope.”5

“A question may be asked—‘Will mothers have their children in eternity?’ Yes! Yes! Mothers, you shall have your children; for they shall have eternal life, for their debt is paid.”6

“Children … must rise just as they died; we can there hail our lovely infants with the same glory—the same loveliness in the celestial glory.”7

This was said in the 1800's. Can you imagine how much more wicked the world has gotten since then? But, at the same time - the world is also filled with wonderful things and people. There is always good with the bad, and lately I'm trying really hard to look for the good in everyone and everything. That can be hard sometimes...


Didn't mean to get all preachy, just wanted to share this, cause I liked it:)

Tomorrow we are going to the funeral service for Bryce and Mar's baby. Two funerals in less than a week is just not right. Think positive, think positive, think positive. Ok then, enough of me. I am going to bed.